Byebye, Love
by Syl
Summary: After Batman fires Robin, Dick leaves home however, first he must say goodbye to a friend.


Title: Bye-bye, Love Author: Syl Francis Email: efrancis@earthlink.net Part: 1/1 Rating: PG Word count: 6,134 **** 

Summary: After Batman fires Robin, Dick Grayson decides to leave home to try to find his place in the world; however, before he leaves, he has to say good-bye to a very important person in his life. 

Disclaimer: All the characters are owned by DC Comics and Time/Warner; this is an original story that does not intend to infringe on their copyright. Feedback is welcome! Copyright 1999 

**** Bye-bye, Love by Syl Francis 

"To be adult is to be alone." (Jean Rostand) 

**** 

"Dick Grayson! Do you know what *time* it is?" 

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Babs," Dick looked at her with tired, puppy-dog eyes. Barbara rolled her own eyes. She'd seen *this* look before. Barbara was nine-year old Dick Grayson's babysitter during his first year at Wayne Manor, and he'd used the same look whenever he begged for an extension on Alfred's ironclad 9:00 p.m. bedtime. 

"It's three-thirty in the morning, Boy Wonder," Barbara hissed, pulling him inside by the sleeve. "There'd better be an alien invasion of Gotham City going down just about now!" 

". . . Babs?" a male voice came from the bedroom. "Honey, what is it?" A handsome man wearing only pajama bottoms stumbled out, blinking in confusion. He was rubbing his eyes against the light. "Is something wrong?" 

He blinked at Barbara and Dick. His brown eyes suddenly narrowed in suspicion. 

Dick's cheeks flushed in sudden embarrassment. What had he been thinking, coming here? 

"It's all right, Jase," Barbara said. "It's just a family friend." She turned to Dick with a 'You *owe* me' look! "Jason, I don't believe I've ever introduced you to my first love." Her male companion's eyes widened. 

"Jason Bard, meet Dick Grayson!" Barbara smiled. "I babysat Dick when he was just a little boy." She turned to Dick and shaking her head, fondly pushed back a stubborn lock of hair from his forehead. "Never could keep that combed back." 

"I'm pleased to meet you, Dick," Bard said, giving him a firm handshake. He put his arm possessively around Barbara. Dick felt an instant stab of jealousy. "Babs has spoken quite highly of you." 

"Thank you, sir," Dick said. "And, congratulations on your engagement." Dick looked intently at Barbara as he spoke, his dark blue eyes hooded. "You realize, of course, that you're the luckiest man in Gotham City." 

"I sure do, son," Bard said looking at Barbara fondly. "And please, call me Jason . . . This *sir* stuff makes me feel really ancient!" Dick nodded distractedly. 

"Yes, sir. I mean--" Dick stumbled. Bard smiled. 

"That's okay, Dick. Look, I have an early morning appointment with a very important client, so I'm going back to bed. I'm sure that you two want to talk in private, anyway." Bard turned to go, then just as suddenly turned back. "By the way, Dick, did you know that you were one of my earliest clients? One of my very first, in fact!" 

Dick shook his head in confusion. 

"Shortly before Bruce Wayne adopted you, he hired my agency--" Bard snorted "--which was comprised entirely of myself--to see if you had any living relatives. I *really* needed a break back then to get my investigative services started, and your guardian offered it me." 

Bard shook his head. 

"Bruce Wayne didn't need to hire some poor, ex-Special Forces vet with a bum leg to investigate such a simple case. Wayne Enterprises had an army of investigators working for them." He looked intently at Dick. "Wayne's a good man. I just wanted you to know." With that Bard headed back into the bedroom. 

Dick stared after him for a few seconds. What Bard said only made his own actions that much more difficult. Every where he went in Gotham City he was confronted by examples of Wayne's generosity and caring. If Wayne had been more like Lex Luthor, then one could have said he *owned* Gotham City. But Wayne wasn't a Luthor. He was what today's news media, who were always looking for an angle, found difficult to swallow: a good man. 

Wayne cared about people, but he just as determinedly tried not to let them know. 

Dick felt his sleeve being tugged. 

"Come on," Barbara led him to the kitchen. Dick pulled out one of her kitchen stools and sat behind the breakfast counter while Barbara made coffee. Dick watched her as she worked, taking pleasure in how her long slender hands worked quickly and efficiently. She had her red hair tied back with green ribbons, and he remembered how their color always seemed to set off her eyes. 

Barbara turned back and caught him staring. He immediately dropped his eyes in embarrassment. She smiled in secret, enjoying his discomfort. Some things never change, she thought. 

"Okay, kid, you've a lot of explaining to do, so you'd better start. If I'm going to be a complete grouch and impossible to work with tomorrow, then you'd *better* have a *hell* of good reason for coming here at such an ungodly hour!" 

Dick nodded. 

"I'm sorry about . . . you know." He jerked his head towards the bedroom. Barbara smiled warmly. Dick's little boy crush all those years ago was still one of her sweetest memories. 

"Dick Grayson, you know you'll always be first in my heart, but--" she paused and smiled again. Barbara was practically glowing. "I love him," she said simply. "He's a good man, Dick. He was a godsend for Dad when the mayor fired him summarily for not *doing enough* about Batman. He's kind and . . . " Barbara shrugged. 

Dick grimaced darkly, reminding Barbara so much of Wayne that it was all she could do to keep from giggling. 

"Don't you think he's kind of *old* for you, Babs? I mean, he's almost as old as *Bruce*!" Dick spoke from the wisdom of one who has yet to see his twentieth birthday. 

Barbara smiled impishly. 

"Actually, he's a year older than Bruce!" she said. Dick looked at her, his blue eyes widened in shock. 

"Babs, are you sure about him?" Dick asked earnestly. "About how you feel, I mean? Are you sure that he's the one and no one else . . . not even maybe just a little bit?" 

Barbara reached her hand over the counter and took his gently. 

"Yes, Dick. I'm sure." Barbara smiled brightly, then got up to pour them coffee. She remembered he always took his with half-and-half and no sugar. She brought the coffee and a plate of Danishes back to the counter and they both took a minute to sip quietly. 

Dick smiled, pointing at his cup. 

"Hey, you remembered how I take it!" he said. 

It was Barbara's turn to feel a bit embarrassed. She covered her own discomfiture by passing the plate of Danishes over to him. 

"It's a congresswoman's job to ensure that *all* of her interns are happy," she said haughtily. Dick snorted. 

"You mean your *only* intern!" he countered, taking a bite. Barbara felt her cheeks flush. Time to change the subject, she thought! 

"Now, what's this I hear about a certain Boy Wonder and this beautiful Tamaranean princess . . . Koriand'r?" She bit into her Danish. As she chewed, Barbara's lovely green eyes crinkled in amusement. Her eyebrows went up in question marks. When no answers were immediately forthcoming, she continued between bites. 

"You two seem to have become quite the item," she said teasingly. "I seem to remember that a few months ago there was a big splash on the front page of the _New York Times_ of Starfire practically smothering Robin in a full lip-lock!" 

Dick blushed, then shook his head as if denying there was anything between them. 

"Look, she's beautiful . . . okay, she's gorgeous . . . all right, she's stunning! But we're just good friends, honest! That kiss . . . she was just being grateful that I saved her life," he explained lamely, shrugging his shoulders. "Apparently, her race of people are very passionate, and she shows her gratitude . . . let's just say, a bit more *overtly* than most of us!" 

Barbara smiled knowingly. 

"It seems that you must *apparently* save her life an awfully lot amount of times!" 

Dick looked at her momentarily nonplussed. Suddenly, they both burst into laughter. 

"Okay, maybe we're a little bit more than just good friends," he admitted. "In fact, Babs, I've *never* met anyone quite like her before. When I'm around her I feel so . . . I don't know . . . different. Confused maybe--? She's so *open* with her feelings that--" Dick paused searching for words. "--that sometimes I feel scared--scared that if I'm not careful, I could lose myself completely." 

Dick looked helplessly at Barbara, obviously struggling for words to describe feelings that seemed totally new and foreign to him. 

"Babs, I've never felt this way before! I'm not even sure that I like it! It's almost as if for the first time in my life, since my parents' murder, I'm not in control . . . !" 

He shook his head in frustration. 

"Babs, I honestly don't know how I feel right now. I mean . . . well, you know." Dick dropped his eyes in embarrassment. He'd tried to speak with his guardian about his feelings, but hadn't been able to articulate them any better. Wayne dismissed it as overactive hormones and told him to work out an extra session. He did, but it hadn't helped. 

"Yes, I *do* know!" Barbara said, sounding exasperated. "I *know* about a certain young man with killer good looks, who happens to be the heir to the biggest fortune on the East Coast, who just happens to be the nicest guy I know, and who's never had a girlfriend in his entire life! If I remember correctly, Dick, you never attended *any* of your school dances. You never dated unless you were forced to escort one of Bruce Wayne's business partner's daughters to some social function that you hated. I'd even bet that before Princess Koriand'r's *overt* show of gratitude, you'd never really been kissed had you?" 

"Oh, that just shows how much *you* know, Barbara Gordon!" Dick blustered. "Why I've been kissed lotsa times! A jillion times even!" Barbara looked at him skeptically. 

"Being kissed hello by the secretaries at Wayne Enterprises when you were nine and ten years old does not count, Richard Grayson! I think that Starfire may be *just* what you need. I mean she's so open with her feelings, and you . . . let's face it kid . . . you could fill a psychiatrist's couch with endless personal accounts of repressed sexual development." 

Dick made a face at her. 

"Ha. Ha. Most amusing Ms. Gordon," he said sourly. 

Barbara looked at her young friend affectionately. If only he was a few years older, she thought to herself. 

Waitaminute, Barbara Gordon! She chastised herself. This is sweet, little Dick Grayson whom you used to baby-sit! He's also that cute bundle of explosive energy in a brightly garish costume known to the world as Robin the Boy Wonder. The incredibly talented kid daredevil who can outdo you in every imaginable way when up in the Gotham City skyline. 

Dick came looking for advice from his big sister. Not for a May-December relationship! Well, more like a May-July relationship. 

Barbara knew that Dick had had a crush on her since he was a little boy. In his early teens it manifested itself into regular visits to the library, where she worked part-time, on the pretense that he had a research paper to do and that he needed her help. How many papers *did* Dick actually write in order to spend time with her, she wondered? 

Well, it's time for *big sister* to lend a hand, she thought determinedly. 

"Dick, is that why you're here? Are you unsure about your relationship with Starfire? Like I said, I think she may be just what the doctor ordered!" So why did she feel so ambivalent about saying it? 

Dick looked at her startled and shook his head. He swallowed a couple of times before he found his voice. 

"No. I came to see if you were happy, and . . ." he shrugged. ". . . and to say good-bye." 

"Good-bye?" she asked. "Are you going somewhere? Vacation or something?" 

Dick shook his head. He stirred his coffee absentmindedly. 

"No. I'm leaving Gotham City for good." He looked sadly into her eyes. "I-I wanted to make sure that you were happy about . . . you know . . . your engagement. I'd hoped--" he shook his head. "Never mind what I hoped. It doesn't matter. Anyway, I couldn't leave Gotham without saying good-bye to my favorite babysitter, could I?" 

He smiled sadly. 

"Dick, I don't understand. Aren't you enrolled at Gotham State University? And what about Bruce and Alfred? What about Batman and Robin? You're just leaving? Dick, what's going on? What happened?" 

Barbara looked frightened by this turn of events. He couldn't be leaving! Dick had been a part of her life for almost ten years now; what would she do without him? 

What was she thinking? She was engaged to Jason Bard, an incredibly handsome, wonderful man, and a wonderful lover who always looked after her needs before his own. 

Why was she suddenly feeling like her life was about to end? Because a nineteen-year old boy whom she loved like a little brother was leaving town? She *did* love him like a little brother, didn't she? 

Barbara had to concentrate on what Dick was saying. He was explaining something . . . about the Joker? 

"What? What did you say about the Joker?" Barbara asked. She felt her heart stopping. Barbara had been out of the country for almost three months and had only just returned the previous week. She hadn't been involved in any Batgirl activities since her arrival. 

"The Joker shot me a few weeks ago. My arm is almost back to normal. Doctor Leslie says it's the Bat-stubborn streak; that no one should recover so quickly from a gunshot wound. And then there was the viral pneumonia. Both have pretty much kept me out of school this semester." He shrugged. 

"Whoa! Boy Wonder, back up! What did you just say?" Barbara asked incredulously. Before Dick could answer, she continued lividly, "Dick, you mean to say that you were seriously injured and no one bothered to *tell* me? How *dare* you keep this from me! I'm your friend! We're practically family! How could you *not* have told me?!" 

Dick shrugged his shoulders helplessly. 

"Babs, I'm sorry . . . I didn't think. I've been so caught up feeling sorry for myself that I haven't really talked with anyone in weeks." He sighed unhappily. "Except Wonder Girl and Starfire. They practically stormed the manor demanding to know what the hell was going on. Why I hadn't been answering my T-commcalls in weeks." 

Dick grinned suddenly. 

"You should've seen Alfred! The Last Line of Defense against the Barbarians at the Gate! *I* wouldn't've wanted to tangle with him myself. A regular mama bear protecting her cubs!" 

Barbara laughed at the description. 

"What happened?" she asked, happy that Dick was at least smiling again. 

"Like I said, I'd been busy moping and feeling sorry for myself, and I'd refused contact with anyone--Bruce especially!" Dick grimaced. "I know . . . I was being childish, but that's neither here nor there. My Titans teammates were worried to say the least, and when WG and Starfire get an idea in their heads, there just isn't much mere mortals can do to stop them! Of course, Alfred's no mere mortal!" 

As Dick talked, his mind went back to his friends' arrival . . . 

**** 

. . . Dick lay on his bed in the dark, the curtains drawn against the early morning sun. It was three weeks since the shooting. While the pneumonia had just about worked its way out of his system, his arm and shoulder were still immobilized against the pain and further injury. 

Dick knew that Alfred was worried about him, but he simply didn't care. As for Wayne . . . Dick didn't think he'd ever care again *what* Wayne thought. Dick already knew that as soon as he could move without assistance, he was out of there. Staying at Wayne Manor was becoming increasingly intolerable--to remain under Wayne's Rules after he was fully recovered would be impossible. 

Dick refused any further contact or conversation with his guardian since he'd promised never to wear the Robin suit again. Dick would honor his promise, because he was a man of his word, but he no longer felt obligated to honor the man to whom he'd given his word. As far as Dick was concerned, Wayne had broken covenant with him . . . a promise made long ago when he first came to Wayne Manor . . . rather than vice versa. 

Sudden loud voices coming from downstairs broke through his miasma. Alfred?! Alfred *never* raised his voice! He must be in trouble! Dick jumped out of bed and immediately felt the room start to spin around him. He quickly grabbed the bedpost, and only through sheer will power was he able to remain on his feet. Slowly, but with increasing urgency, Dick made it to the bedroom door. 

Struggling to maintain his balance, Dick stumbled down the upstairs hallway in the direction of the voices. Beads of sweat were pouring down his eyes. His vision started to lose its focus . . . the main staircase was only a few feet away but seemed too far to reach. Objects on his peripheral vision began to look gray and black . . . he felt himself beginning to lose consciousness. 

Dick leaned against the wall and slowly went down to a sitting position. Determined to keep going, he pushed against the wall, and kept moving across the seemingly unattainable distance to the staircase . . . 

". . . But, Alfred, all we want is to *talk* to Dick!" Donna? 

"X'Hal! We are his friends! We demand the right to speak with him!" Kory?! 

Dick's confusion was mixed with relief! 

"I'm sorry, Miss Troy, Miss Anders, but Master Richard gave specific instructions that he wished to see *no* one! Under any circumstances. I must respectfully request that you leave . . . I am very sorry, but the young master is quite ill and . . . I'm afraid quite distressed about certain matters--" 

"--Alfred!" Dick managed to call weakly from where he'd finally collapsed at the top of the stairs. When he saw that Alfred was not in any danger, all of his will power suddenly left him, and he was unable to go on any further. 

"Master Richard!" Alfred's voice showed shocked alarm. 

"DICK!" Both Donna and Kory cried out his name at the same time. 

"Please, help me get him to his room," Alfred said. "Oh, what were you thinking, young sir?" 

Kory immediately bent down and carefully, mindful of his bandaged left side, she tenderly lifted him and carried him easily to his room. Dick must have lost consciousness about then, because the next thing he knew, he was waking up, lying in bed, surrounded by three worried faces. 

"He's coming to," Donna said quietly. 

"Thank X'Hal!" 

"Young man, if you weren't so ill, I believe that I'd have half a mind to take you over my knees and give you a good spanking!" 

Dick grinned weakly. 

"Alfred, you never spanked me in my whole life!" Dick whispered. 

"It's never too late to start!" Alfred retorted. 

Alfred's worried countenance, the new lines on his forehead and the corner of his eyes, gave Dick pause. Had *he* been responsible for those, Dick wondered? 

"As you can see, Master Richard, you have company. I'm afraid that the young ladies were most insistent," Alfred said by way of apology. 

Dick swallowed and nodded his head. 

"S'okay, Alfred," he said softly. "If they try anything, I'll send out the Bat-Signal." 

Alfred nodded and let himself out quietly. 

Dick looked up at his two friends and gave them a lopsided smile. Neither responded. Both Donna and Kory stood on either side of his bed with their arms crossed, identically grim expressions on their faces. Dick's smile faltered a little. 

"You wouldn't hurt an invalid, would you?" he asked. 

Donna and Kory looked at each other. A silent communication passed between them. Kory nodded slightly and moved towards the French doors that led to the bedroom's second story balcony. She stepped outside and closed the doors behind her. Dick followed her with his eyes. 

He could still see her through the French doors' gauze curtains. Kory was dressed in civilian clothes, a short, cropped-top and jeans. Garfield quipped once that no one filled a pair of jeans quite like Kory. Dick was inclined to agree. Distracted by how the sun played with Kory's impossibly long auburn tresses, how her skin just seemed to glow in the early morning sun, Dick wasn't paying any attention to Donna. 

"Dick Grayson, I'm talking to you!" Donna's annoyed tone snapped him back. 

"What? Oh, sorry, Donna," he apologized, "I guess I was distracted." Donna's eyes crinkled teasingly and she nodded her head pointedly towards Kory. 

"I see. Why, I've *never* known the Boy Wonder to be distracted by anything. Mister Always in Control. Mister Always in Command. Mister Perfection." She giggled slightly, a sister teasing her brother whom she's caught in the act of kissing a girl. "I wonder what . . . or should I ask *who* . . . could possibly cause you to be distracted?" 

Not about to give away his crazy mixed-up feelings at this point, Dick looked at her with an inscrutable expression. 

"So, what did you want to see me about, Donna?" he asked. Then he added straightfaced, "You know that your life was in grave danger, going up against Alfred. He knows the secret of how to take down every super-hero on the roster, in case something happens to Bruce and me, and any of them ever go rogue." 

Donna looked at him uncertainly, unsure whether he was pulling her leg. His eyes suddenly softening in a gentle teasing smile was the answer. 

"Gotcha!" He said, grinning lopsidedly. 

"Oh, you! I outta--" laughing, she waved a threatening fist under his nose. 

"Uh-uh!" Dick held up his finger to stop her. "Remember, I'm a sick man. I can't be held accountable for my actions." The bantering moment didn't last long. Remembering why his friends had come, Dick dropped his eyes in sudden shame. 

"Donna, I'm sorry I didn't call or anything. That was inexcusable, I know that. It's just that I've been laid up since the Joker shot me, and it's been complicated by . . . well, other things. It's gonna take me awhile to get back to a hundred percent." 

"Dick, there's something you're not telling me," she said gently. "What is it? We've been friends too long, meant too much to each other for too long, for me not to know when you're being less than truthful with me." 

He grinned painfully, and suddenly overcome by the overwhelming sense of loss that he'd been trying to keep at bay for the past three weeks, he turned his head afraid he'd lose control right there. 

"Donna, please . . . I just can't talk about it right now, okay? It's something I have to work out for myself." He turned back to face her, his obvious grief stabbing at her heart. "I *need* to be by myself Donna, if only for a little while longer. Please? Let me work this out alone?" His eyes pleaded for understanding. 

Donna smiled sadly and leaning over she kissed her friend on the forehead. Nodding reluctantly, she sat back on the side of the bed. 

"Okay, I'll keep the others away. But, Dick, you know we all care about you. We're family remember? The minute you need any of us, even if you just need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate for even a second to call us. You *know* we'll come running." 

Dick swallowed and nodded gratefully. He took her hand in his and just held it for a few seconds, allowing the comfort of knowing that he had friends who loved him blanket him in its warmth. 

"Well, I guess, Kory and I better be heading back to the Big Apple," Donna said standing up. "By the way, who do want to take over as leader while you're gone? Wally? Roy?" She grinned broadly. "Gar?" 

Dick smiled and shook his head. 

"Is there any question, Donna? You, of course! Those kids need adult supervision, and there's only one person besides me whom I'd trust to not only keep them in line, but to lead them in battle. You're a warrior Donna; you're also an awesome leader. Please, tell me you'll take the reins. It would just take a load off my mind." 

Donna looked at Dick as if he'd gone insane. At his look of urgency and sincerity, she started thinking about training concepts that she'd wanted to see implemented for awhile. She suddenly smiled. 

"You bet, I'll do it, Boy Wonder. But you'd better watch out. I may just decide I *like* being the lady in charge and refuse to return the mantle of leadership when you return." 

Dick smiled at her threat. 

"Be careful what you ask for, Donna!" 

She smiled in turn, then walked out to the balcony to call Kory. Dick felt better after his talk with Donna. He should've called her earlier he knew, he just hadn't had the energy to undertake what he'd assumed would be an interrogation. Donna and Kory were whispering at the French doors. Donna was insisting on something, and Kory was shaking her head vehemently. 

"Now!" Donna said, and walked out of the room. Dick watched perplexed by the exchange; what was going on? Kory stood where Donna left her standing by the open French doors. The breeze coming from the sea immediately outside gently stirred her hair around her. The backlighting from the morning sun transformed her into a living burst of light in his gloomy room. 

Kory smiled at him nervously. 

"I-I'm glad that you are going to be all right, Dick," she said lamely. 

Dick smiled at her. 

"Thanks, Kory, I appreciate you coming with Donna. I know that I've been a jerk--" 

"X'Hal! No!" Kory literally flew to his bedside and sat down next to him, her head shaking in denial of his words. "No, Dick! You could *never* be a jerk, as you say. You are the kindest, smartest, and bravest man I have ever met in my life." 

She stopped suddenly, unsure of herself. 

"Your people are so different from mine, Dick. My people believe in open honesty about their feelings . . . even feelings of hatred. But we especially feel it necessary to be open about our feelings of . . . " She looked intently into his eyes. ". . . our feelings of love." 

"Kory, I--" Kory placed her finger over his lips to stop him from saying anything further. 

"I know it is difficult for you to express your feelings, Dick. I know you have great difficulty in just letting go. I've seen how you must always be in total control . . . of a situation, of the Titans, of yourself. Maybe that's why I've been drawn to you. You are *so* different from everything and everyone I've ever known. You always think of others first . . . your feelings and needs always come last. I don't want you to think that you must somehow feel for me as I do for you, but I wouldn't be true to myself, Dick, if I wasn't open and honest about how I feel." 

Without warning, she leaned down and kissed him fully and passionately. Surprised, Dick struggled weakly at first, then found himself responding; he slowly brought his good arm around and held her to him. When they finally broke apart, Dick found his heart rate had increased and his breathing quickened. He had to swallow a couple of times to get his breathing under control. 

"I'm in love with you, Dick Grayson," Kory said simply. "Think about that while you're recuperating." 

Smiling, she leaned down and kissed him again, a chaste kiss that seared itself into his psyche . . . 

**** 

". . . I told them that I needed time to rest and recuperate, so to put me on the Titans' temporary inactive list. I told WG to take the leadership reins until I returned . . . *if* I returned, and that was it!" 

Dick decided not to tell Barbara about Kory's good-bye kiss. He wasn't sure if he could talk about anything so personal with *anyone*. Besides, he'd still been so weak. How could he be certain about his response? He still flushed when he thought about it . . . when he thought about *her*! 

"Sounds to me like you have *two* gorgeous girls who want to get under your cape, Boy Wonder," Barbara teased. 

Dick grinned embarrassed and shook his head at her silliness. If only Barbara didn't still think about him as the little kid she used to baby-sit. He *knew* what he'd do then, but . . . it seemed the whole Bat-family would never stop thinking about him except as the kid sidekick who needed protecting. 

"Dick, what I don't understand is *why* you're so down on Bruce? I mean, he's your father . . . of course, he's worried about you. What happened between you two that's made you so bitter?" 

"After the Joker shot me, Bruce went kind of crazy or something . . . it's hard to explain. I mean, what's crazy for a guy who dresses up like a bat? It's all kind of relative, I guess." 

Dick shrugged, then continued, gesturing with one hand. 

"For example, dressing as a bat and climbing all over Gotham City in the night is considered *normal* for Bruce." Then gesturing with the other hand, he added, "On the other hand, obsessing over losing the people he loves, may or may *not* be construed as normal by any stretch of the imagination." 

Dick's smile faltered and he sighed despondently. 

"Anyway, the crazy and obsessed Bruce sort of took over the *normal* Bruce's persona and he went like *totally* Bats on me! Babs, Batman *fired* me! Or rather, he fired Robin." 

Barbara's eyes widened in shock. 

"What?! Oh, Dick, he couldn't have!" she cried. 

Dick smiled sardonically. 

"Oh, yes, he could. And you won't believe why . . . He said that he couldn't be responsible for a *child's* safety anymore. He even made me promise never to wear the Robin suit ever again." 

He dropped his eyes in shame and misery. 

"So, Bruce and I haven't spoken to each other almost since the incident." 

Dick's smile turned bitter. 

"Funny, I get shot, and I'm fired for it. Talk about your self-esteem builders. Then to top it all off, I'm suddenly called a *child* again! All those years of hard work . . . all those years of training . . . for what? For *nothing*!" 

He gave a short, bitter laugh. 

"Dick, is this why you're leaving? Because Batman fired Robin?" Dick nodded, his face assuming a stubborn shut look that reminded her of his mentor. 

"Dick, you know that this will all blow over. We *all* know how obsessed Bruce is about losing those he loves. Just be patient. He'll come around; he knows how much being Robin means to you." 

"No! I *can't* stay, Babs," Dick felt the hot tears of anger that he'd kept in check since that fateful announcement suddenly threaten. "Bruce said that as long as I live under his roof, I'll have to follow his orders. I can't do that anymore. I love him, Babs, you know I do. God knows he's a good man and his intentions are only the best. But I have to be my own man. I can't be the Titans' leader through a major crisis one day, then come home and be expected to act the part of the obedient little boy anymore." 

Dick shook his head and again set his jaw in that all too familiar stubborn way of his. 

"The *first* thing Bruce ever taught me was how to be a man!" he said, slamming his fist on the counter. "I *can't* be anything less!" 

Dick gave Barbara the same look of grim determination that she'd seen on Wayne's face an innumerable amount of times. God, if they could only see how much alike they were. 

"No! If I stay, I'll grow to hate him. I couldn't live with myself then. I gave him my word that I won't put on the Robin suit again. And maybe that's for the best. As long as I wear it, I'll always be the second half of Batman and . . . I'll always *be* second best." 

He stood to go. 

"It's best that I make a clean break. I don't know right now what I'm going to do. I've got to get away and be by myself in order to think. I've concentrated so long and so hard on being Robin, that I've almost forgotten *who* Dick Grayson is. And before Dick Grayson decides what superhero persona he's going to take . . . if any . . . then he has to find out just who he is!" 

Barbara walked up to him and placed her hand gently on his cheek. 

"Well, *I* know who Dick Grayson is," she said pulling him down and giving him a tender kiss on the forehead. "He's a pretty nice guy with a very big heart who cares deeply about others." 

Dick looked down at his feet for a second. He wanted so much to take her in his arms and tell her that he still loved her, that it wasn't just a schoolboy crush, that he'd always love her. But thoughts of Kory came suddenly unbidden to the fore, something that seemed to be happening more often lately. He remembered her leaning out on his balcony in the early morning sun, so beautiful she took his breath away . . . 

"I love you, Dick Grayson," Kory's voice echoed gently. "Think about that while you're recuperating." 

. . . Dick felt momentarily confused, almost a perverse sense of guilt, as if he was somehow cheating on Barbara. He had to *say* something! He might never get another chance! He gave himself a mental headshake. Who did he think he was? Barbara was engaged, and by her own admission she was happy. 

He and Barbara were good friends; that's all they'd ever been; that's all they'd probably ever be. Besides, Jason Bard, the man she was engaged to marry, was lying in her bed, waiting for her to return to him. Dick started towards the door. 

Barbara felt a sudden sense of panic envelope her. Dick was really leaving! He was really walking out the door and out of her life! 

"I may eventually end up in New York City with the Titans," Dick said, oblivious to Barbara's growing agitation. "Maybe permanently; I'm not sure yet. I've been their leader off and on since I was thirteen, and this past year since we reformed the group has been maybe the best year of my life. They're my closest friends, Babs, *and* the closest thing I've got to an extended family. They've always accepted me, as I am, through thick and thin. But whatever I do, it won't be as Robin." 

Dick stopped just outside the door and turned to look at her once more. He didn't know where he was going or how he was going to get there, but he knew with certainty that his tragic, yet happy and unorthodox childhood was permanently over. Whatever he did, wherever he ended up, he'd do it on his own terms. 

He reached across the span of years that seemed destined to forever separate them and tenderly caressed her face; he felt desperately afraid that he was gazing upon her for the last time. 

"Be happy, Babs." 

A slow tear worked its way down Barbara's cheek. Somehow she managed to smile even though she knew her heart was breaking. 

Throwing caution to the wind, Dick took Barbara in his arms and kissed her fully and ardently, placing all his years of longing into that one lingering good-bye. 

"Remember me," he whispered. Then, pivoting quickly before he changed his mind, Dick walked away from everything he knew, and headed towards his future. 

The End #### 12 


End file.
